DIY handfasting ceremony

Tomorrow marks three amazing years since I married my beautiful soulmate in a beautiful forest. An outdoor non-religious wedding with many friends and relatives, where we wrote our own vows and conducted our own ceremony, was just right for us and I look back on it with so much happiness. What makes me happier still is the number of guests – including those we wouldn’t have expected to – who have since told us that they loved and were inspired by our day because they found it so personal and heartfelt. People say that they will remember our wedding because it was different. I can understand that, for some people, tradition is important. However, it seems that more people are becoming interested in eco-weddings and DIY weddings, so here’s how we did ours:

• We had faith that it would be sunny, and we were lucky!

• The day before, we got legally married at the Registry Office with just close family and friends. Rob was in jeans, we didn’t exchange rings; it wasn’t the important part for us. We then headed off to the woodland we’d hired (not far from where we live, so somewhere we had enjoyed walks before, have done since and will do in future!). 

• Rather than bridesmaids and ushers, we had a “Band of Helpful Pixies”; close family and friends who each had a helpful role to perform. Most of these camped with us in the woods the night before the wedding and helped us set up the decorations, bar etc in the morning. The woodland was full of beautiful bluebells and wild garlic so provided in-situ floral decoration and my mum had brought some  ivy and lily-of-the-valley to decorate the tables and other areas.

• Our ceremony started early afternoon. We had chosen a spot a short walk down into the woodland that wasn’t far off the main path so that a car could bring down older relatives. There was space for them to sit, too. A friend played guitar and sang songs as everyone assembled. Two magically-minded friends had blessed the space for us before the guests started to arrive.

• We both entered the ceremony space (me a little later)! Rob was accompanied by his best friend, me by my brother.

• Rob thanked everyone for coming and explained the order of the day. I read a quote I’d adapted which likens the relationship to a great tree, “becoming bigger, more rooted and stronger which each turn of the wheel of the year”. I went on to say a few soppy things about how I feel about Rob, then promised “to love and look after you; to live with you; to enjoy and celebrate life’s good times with you; to communicate with and support you;  to be supported by you when times aren’t so sparkly; and to work as best I can at the difficulties we may come across along life’s twisty, turny path. I’ll walk hand-in-hand with you through our journey and the adventures we’ll have along the way. I hope to share with you my dreams and help you to fulfil yours, and always to carry the gratitude that I feel here today for the magic that we have together”. We had all this stuff written down in a pretty notebook that we were reading from.
• Rob then said soppy things about me and made his promises. We then asked each other (and each responded yes!): “As the sun and moon bring light to the earth, do you vow to bring the light of love and joy to our union?”. Rob’s sister then lit a candle, with Rob saying that it represented a light that cannot be divided.
• I asked Rob to “wear this ring today so that every day, in every way, you will be carrying part of me and my love with you” (I got that from a wedding vows inspiration book). I put Rob’s ring on him, then he repeated the words and put mine on me. We then introduced our handfasting cloth as a “symbol of the life we have chosed to lead together, woven to symbolise the intertwining of our lives” (again, from a book) and our mothers wound it around our hands.

• We then exchanged a vow to each other that is the chorus of a song we both love, and kissed of course! Then we headed to the top of the forest for a toast and speeches, then time for people to mingle and explore the woods before dinner.

• We had an honesty bar that we sourced the drinks for so that we could have ale and cider from a local brewery, fair trade spirits and organic wine and mixers/soft drinks. There was also a tea bar of herbal and caffeinated hot drinks. Guests were welcome to bring their own drinks as long as they used the recycling facilities provided.

• We had hired three stunning yurts from Hooe’s Yurts for the evening dining, dancing and sitting to take place in (and our back-up ceremony space if it had rained). We used a local caterer who concocted her delicious creations with organic, local ingredients and Rob’s cousin made us a divine cake which we had for pudding. We’d made playlists and had a DJ friend do a set which saw us through until the time that noise had to be minimal by out of respect to local farms.

• Many of our guests camped with us that night and shared breakfast there with us the next day.

We truly had a lot of fun creating this celebration of out love and commitment to each other and sharing it with those who mean a lot to us – and with nature and the forest spirits. I also got a lot of inspiration from:

www.greenunion.co.uk, 

www.thenaturalweddingcompany.co.uk/‎

www.ethicalweddings.com

♥  ♥  ♥

 

Vanishing moon: stopping life from running away

Sometimes visible as a thinning crescent in the morning sky, the vanishing moon has, for me, the wise elderly grandmother energy. Stronger in mind than body, she has the rich bounty of life experience, skills, knowledge and self-assurance if she has lead a fulfilling life. That’s the question I ask at around this time of every lunar month; has the month been a fulfilling one? Did I achieve my goals and meet my targets? If not, was it because they were unrealistic? Or because I procrastinated? If the latter, was that perhaps because I was afraid or lacking confidence?

I ask myself: “what has changed in the last month? What defines this month for me?” It could be the month that my son started walking, or a month where my mum came to stay. Maybe it is the month where I first recognised how much more confidant I now feel using my sewing machine, or a month where I often felt a little low.

As well as connecting me with the lunar tides and energies, this helps me kinda keep track of my life. My husband and I both feel that we would hate years to pass us by with us barely noticing them, or having not really reflected and evaluated along the way. Evaluate if the things we are doing and working towards are still true to what we want, need and value. To take a look at what potential opportunities or dreams are in front of us and if now is the right time to pursue them. To just acknowledge how we’re finding living day to day life right now.

Of course, you don’t need to plug into what the moon’s doing to reflect and assess in this way. We just use it as a framework so that we do it regularly and so that, in my belief, the moon’s energy is complementary to the energy of what we’re doing (and therefore aids it).

I’ll share something else that I like to do: during each lunar month, I place on our sacred shelf (which serves a similar purpose to an altar or nature table) a reminder of anything significant that happened. For example, a “find” from a particularly lovely walk, a scrap of wool/fabric from something I’ve made, an epiphany of a though written down. At the vanishing moon, we look over these. Some objects will prompt laughter, others regret, others relief; a myriad of feelings may be amongst these little things, but all will prompt thanks.

Happy vanishing moon ♥

The beautiful card is by Jan Fowler. See www.goddessandgreenman.co.uk and www.slipperyjacks.com.

Half moon health

We’re a day or so past the half moon, that bi-monthly rest point. You know, like when you’re out for a nice, long country walk and have been plodding up a steep hill for quite a while now. You’re enjoying the exercise, the fresh air and the scenery but your legs are getting a little tired and your breathing’s not quite as easy as normal. You spy a bench, situated at a lovely view point, and you smile in relief as you ease yourself down to glug some water and sit for a few minutes.

But then….refreshed as this rest makes you, sometimes it can be pretty hard to get up and continue your climb. For me, this is the energy of the half moon; a rest that can turn into a rut. This is why I try to incorporate gentle movement into my diet and activities on half moon days; spices in my food and drink, (This article justifies my aforementioned chai tea habit!),  a little wheatgrass shot, fresh air, some gentle yoga and a little self-massage.

 

It’s this tendency for obstacles that I blame for this post being a day late…technology issues, toddler issues, tiredness. All temporary, all frustrating at the time and none important in the grand scheme of things ♥