The December full moon is sometimes known as the “cold moon”, as the darkness and coldness of winter is really felt. Indeed this December’s full moon is only a few days from midwinter, when I feel the goddess to be swinging her dark cloak far out and around over our northern hemisphere. Swoosh! It’s a very beautiful cloak that I can find comforting in the way it envelops us – similar how I carried my son in a sling with my coat wrapped around both of us during his very first winter. However, the invitation to look within whilst there is is so much darkness without can be a little daunting; I don’t always find it easy to accept the need to change, let go and renew. To allow death even when I know that it will create space for new life to burst forth.
My garden is pretty empty, and I’m not spending much time out there – again, I’ve “come inside” to create comfort for myself and my family with baking, creative crafts and reading stories and magazines. This is the week when I really start to build up to the solstice and to Christmas; when I’ll start to plan festive food, to panic about how few gifts I have organised, to dig out the decorations. I guess this busyness helps fill the void created by the bare trees and weak sun. Hopefully, I’ll remember to make time to acknowledge and feel that void – to deeply breathe in and out, to spread my arms and stretch in that dark space which is needed for life to begin again. For those ideas and dreams that I’ll conceive on the 21st.
I know that some pagans see the goddess as being pregnant now, about to birth the sun on the winter solstice. In my interpretation (which is neither right nor wrong, like anyone’s beliefs), her womb is now empty and resting, having birthed during the harvest time, then bled her afterbirth and then rested her womb. I interpret the solstice to be conception; the meeting of energies within the void womb to create new life. Life that is tiny and delicate – and probably unseen for a few weeks. Of course in all this womb-talk, I consider my own womb which is itself a cold dark void, my cycle still not having returned due to lactational amenorrhea. Certainly in the early months following Dylan’s birth, the space where he had grown felt literally a void; I could not connect with this space, imagine it, acknowledge it or anything because of the impact having an emergency Cesaerean had had upon me. If I held my hand over my lower abdomen. it just felt cold (even if I myself was feeling warm). Thankfully, this changed in time due to many factors – the healing nature of time itself being just one of them. Another was Miranda Gray’s worldwide womb blessing which takes place on a few full moons per year; I’m very grateful to the friends who encouraged me to accept this beautiful gift freely available to all women.
I look forward to joining so many women today in sharing this blessing, and I look forward to joining with what I imagine to be many more people on Saturday to celebrate the solstice. I know that I will join some people who, like me, ascribe messages and metaphors to this day; who will greet energies and spirits, create rituals and passageways, feel the shift of the outer world in their inner world and send out intent for the new stage. I know that I will join some people who simply want to celebrate the cycle of nature; I don’t think it matter exactly how any of us are approaching it. What matters is that we will all be there on that day and at that time, feeling hopeful and embracing love and light. And smiling. And that’s a great vibe to be going round so early in the morning. ♥