Delicate, fresh, growing little daughter moon. The smile in the sky in the evening. That’s if the clouds will let me see her before she sinks sleepily behind one of the tower blocks of flats in my neighbourhood. She brings new energy, new hopes, new goals…usually. Maybe not this time. This time, I’m just not bounding along with my typical new moon excitement, just not all hopeful and dream-ful. Certainly not energy-ful. I’m sighing that I’m trotting out the same old goals that weren’t fulfilled last moon, or the one before, or the one before, or the….you get my drift.
Delicate, yes. Little, yes; not just in being physically petite. I’m feeling little in who I am. Naive, needy, new at so much in this world. Sure, I’ve passed from daughter to maiden and maiden to mother but right now I just don’t feel all that mother-ful. This week has seen less intuitive wisdom and abundant nurturing from me than it has tantrums and hug requests. Oh and if someone would only stroke my hair whist I fall asleep!
I may be a Mama approaching 30, but I’m still a daughter, and always will be. Sometimes full of wonder, learning, playing, excited; sometimes needing a little parenting myself. I guess that as we pass through each life stage, we don’t leave it completely; the moon still shines the same light. I remember visiting my Great-Grandmother with my Grandad. I must have been about 10, she in her mid-90’s, he in his mid-60’s. “That’s my baby!” she motioned towards Grandad. “He’ll always be my baby!” I thought this was impossible; he was a grown man. Arguably, an elderly man. Yet she had seen him through all those ages I hadn’t: he was still the same person as the baby she had birthed. I am the daughter and the maiden. And, on a good day, the mother too.
It’s for me to find out who can give me that little bit of parenting for myself and where I can learn more about what I’m oh so new to. Who has honestly mastered it all anyway? They must be pretty bored. ♥
And talking of things that are new, I’ve just added some beeswax tealights and refills to my Etsy shop. Brighten up these darker days!